*~*Like It, Love It, Live It Or Leave It Alone*~*

I feel like I have a chewing out coming. I can’t do anything at this fucking store without getting chewed out. I work hard to avoid hearing this manager f n mouth. There are some definate up’s for working at this store. And there are some down’s. I am very happy that he will not! be here allllll next week. yay! no one up my ass for the next week.

This man…this man..this man….

He is my personal tsunami cause me makes my waters fall

Rivers, oceans, our sheets has seem them all

when his lips hit my hip my body goes in an uncontrollable fit

His hands like work as a team that are forever on a mission to figure out new ways to please me

He is my perfect drug

And with my daily fix of em

I get that twitch that itch

For only his loving can satisfy…

More to come soon my laptop is about to die..lol

I keep smiling

Even when I’m in pain

So insane

I think I may die from the shame

To remain the same

Caught lost in this matrix of lies

The carry on

Pretending to be something

They are not

Letting more time go by

As they imply

They would love to be mine

By my side

All lies

Nothing but well thought out words

Forming pipe dreams at their worst

I keep smiling

Even when the tears are falling down

I never wear a frown

As they fall down

And hit the ground

I am am left filled with doubt

At all the fucked up situations I seem to bring about

Salt from my dreary river stain my sheets

But I laugh when I weep

Because you never let the enemy know when you are weak

I know I am different now

I won’t ever wear a frown

Because if I was who I was before I found me

I may have seriously considered

Making my wrist bleed

You though I love me way to much to conceed

To this bullshit these people try to feed me

I am always so sweet but not quite good enough

Always almost every thing they want

Anyway please

I can pretty much gaurentee

You will never EVER find another

Quite like me

I  keep smiling

Cause for all this heartache

I know there is that one waiting for me

The one I’m learning all these lesson for

So I am ready

When they are ready for me

So I would like to take this time to thank you

All of you

That have fucked me

In a matter of speaking

Cause when it’s all said and done

I’ll still be smiling

Looking down at you

Keep my chin up

Cause I am number one.

©2010- Lady B

What do you think?

It makes me very, very happy to know that some of these men in my life, especially one New York gentlemen, all the stupid, painful, unecsesarry, uncalled for action. Things that have made me smile from joy, and the things that have made my cry in pain, and the things that made my stomach twist up and want to vomit. All the almost promises, words sugar sweet, heart warming but then dipped in honey and then into shit buy brushing me off at the end of this lovley rant…..”and when you find that special man, he is going to give you everything you deserve, all the things I can’t do because I just am soooooooo deep and have issues with commitment although I could see myself marrying you….I don’t wanna hold you back from the one who will do you right.” and blah….blah…blah…BLAH…BLAH..BLAH!!!! AND WHAT THE FUCK EVER!!! all words that to me say….. I wanna continue to fuck these bitches and only have to care about me! That’s fine. But then turn around and be mad and hurt if there is mention of another person special in my life? and Then I am IN your city you been knew I was coming, MAD cus I am not trying to spend alone time with you, and because of that you make it clear you do not want to hang with me and my friends so you “Oh..oh..nah,…you have fun, you do you” Blowing me off.. THEN…you know I am there..you call from a number I have never seen, and then have an attitude when I don’t know who the fuck you are? (Cus we never talk on the phone since you got your lil ego bruised) Then when I call you back you fucking hang up on me? THEN play the hurt puppy role about not seeing me…!!!!! FUUUCCKKKKKKKK YOUUUUUUU~~~~!!

Well guess what? That Mr. Wonderful you talked soooo much about, has shown up and out… he is more than I could have ever even dreamed up. He is my true soulmate. God took his time when making this man for me. He make me feel wonderful, beautiful, loved, cared for and cherished. He won’t let me even forget for a second how much he loves me, and how happy he is to have me in his life. The only thing…I have ever asked for from any of you simple sons of bitches. He is kind, caring, loving, amazing, thoughtful, sweet,considerate, supportive, strong,positive, smart,giving, funny, in a word this man is my SUPERHERO.I look forward to every hour, every minute, every second of our time together. And when we are the apart we are thinking of being with one another. I know deep in my heart, my soul, deep to the very core of my being that this is the reason, he is the reason that nothing ever worked out, THANKFULLY!!! with you losers.

I would like to thank you, all of you for not caring and for letting my go… and the funny part is…you all were right. When I found that person I would be truly happy. So thank you for realizing that you were not the man for me and for making room from my…. SUPERHERO

I LOVE YOU MR. WILLIAMS!!!!!

Blah…I am going to bed..seeing as my boyfriend has beat me to the punch….lol

I feel fat..I need to loose some fucking weight!

Is at home, alone. The boyfriend is making musical fusion with his cousin. No poetry tonight, Cause I have no 10 dollars for the cover. Sucks! especially when I have tomorrow off. Anyway…guess I will look for more ideas to help form this new ink idea I have….

I am at work. Super short day today. I thought I had class today. But I was wrong so I didn’t have to come in until 3:30 so the day is almost over. I love it! I am so freakin sleepy. The trails of womenhood. -sigh- I miss being able to get on the internet at work. It was when I got most of my reasearch done. I could print out as much stuff as I want. None of that now. My laptop I have messed around with it and changed stuff and made it a total reflection of me. And now when stuck at. work my Motorola Cliq is my very best friend. My only line of expression and freedom when trapped with in these 4 walls. lol. That baby Jesus for my sweet ass android, touch screen, full keyboard phone!

I want new ink really really bad. I want my next tattoo to being something meaningful and to be a awesome reflection of me. Who am I? What is my reflection? It will have to do something with love… because I know that is what I am at the most core of my being I am a lover. A lover of people, places, things, experiences, life, music, art, cookies, and everything pink sparkly and girly…hhhmmm now how do we express that into a picture? or picture and words…. This will take some time…..